Wednesday, March 21, 2012

ENCOUNTER REWRITE 367 of 462 pages CONFIDENCE in writing!

I believe in destiny! I live my life as though there is a Divine purpose for me on this planet. And, I also realize there has only been one person who really stood in the way of me accomplishing my mission/purpose/destiny...and that was ME! Sure, I could blame it all on  (hate that word) my upbringing, but at a certain point in order to become mature with my accomplishments as well as my failures I needed to add that word...accountability. I had to take some responsibility. I am enjoying the success of A PERFECT HUSBAND now! That novel was written in 2005. It went through many stages before it was published - and during those arduous years...rejection was a common thread. To an artist becomming...rejection is a four-letter word. But, it gave my days fuel, fire, my purpose intent on proving myself right, victorious, a champion. And, it also drained my soul...affirming myself over-and-over again was, to say the least, depleting, all consuming and without the proper support--downright anquish. But I quelled my feelings...isn't this what artistry is all about for God's sake?  My mother used to say -- 'make sure you have something to fall back on.' The curse of an artist. How many years would it take for me to banish those words? How many people would I project her disapproval on in order to 'show them?' How many relationships, jobs, friendships would I manifest an opportunity to prove 'them' wrong? That insecurity, I beleive, kept me unpublished and angry. The spiral of rejection I encountered was a familiar ringtone, a comfortable worn sweater I was used to. But, it really had NOTHING to do with my writing, my art, my talent. My words always had prose, style, insight and power...sensitivity. The question was how to use those gifts with confidence rather than as a portal for healing. Or, better yet, how to unite those unique qualities and create aknew?  Maturity in writing awarded me an inward confidence. I do the work now for me. I have good days and bad. But, I persevere. I have a better understanding of my strengths as well as my weaknesses, my limitations. I am willing to be open to critique without allowing my buttons to be pushed or squashed. Sure, who doesn't want to hear 'the pages are sublime' each time a submission is sent out. It's innate, it's part of the reason we give our voice in words for flight. But, it doesn't hinder my process or my love of it.  And, I must admit, getting published has given me a gateway of self reliance I value. Like stepping over a threshhold from one side -- to the other.
Keep writing...keep creating!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

ENCOUNTER REWRITE pg. 327 of 462 Maturity in writing!

There came a moment while doing the rewrite on ENCOUNTER when I realized this rewrite was NOT the last rewrite. It was hubris. Folly! Of course, I knew I would be taking several more passes at the manuscript before freezing it, sending it to an editor for corrections and then sending the manuscript (sorry, WORD DOC) to my agent. BUT, there was that little bit of magical thinking, that tiny voice that prevailed. I don't know about you, but I am -- hands down --  into instant gratification. This personality trait gets me into trouble. That and the magical thinking part can catapult me into a heap of pain, quickly. It's been a difficult process for me to learn how to nuture my writing, take my time, cultivate the words, reread the sentences... find the poetry... the characters. I am always so eager for approval, attention and... love that I forget my adult professionalism. I forget I am an adult! I suppose the difference is maturity. Maturity has allowed me the benefits of sustaining the pleasurable aspects of my writing while using DISCIPLINE to ground me. I know I have work to do, so I do it. Whereas, before my petulant little boy wanted to stomp my feet and be done with I linger... There is a long road to travel before ENCOUNTER is ready for eyes to read... But, I see this as a positive. It means my Life has developed, matured, and grown into an adult artist versus the child showoff constantly wanting positive feedback and admiration. Let me know if this is true for you??? I enjoy the feedback.
Keep writing... keep creating!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

ENCOUNTER REWRITE pg. 273 or 459

The daily rewrite goes well. The pages I read aloud until my throat gets hoarse. My focus the last couple of days has been on the sales of A Perfect Husband. My concern, now, having created some buzz with good reviews and a positive Kirkus is having the correct platform to lead traffic to my book and then, once there, securing the purchase. Not having a traditional publisher, my brand name has to be focused on daily. Three times a day, in fact.  (And, I understand even authors signed to traditional publishers must maintain their brand...themselves.) But, the platform is there for them. There is a clout associated with being an author signed to a major publishing house. I have no problem paying 25 dollars for a hardback book, or an eBook for half that price if the author is a brand name. Even new authors building their brand, which I read constantly, I pay top dollar for. The BRAND/AUTHOR is publicized by being with the publisher. The publisher is the BRAND. Their books get spotlighted on AMAZON, or BARNES & NOBLE. Their books receive advance praise from notable magazines, periodicals and literary columns that drive advance sales. Their books get put on shelves in a multitude of bookstores (what's left of them, anyway) across the country. My novel is that in between book... I'm not really competing with those books, yet, but I am competing for sales with the self published. Those strong, resilient writers who, by choice are leaving the competitive waters of publishing and doing it for themselves. And...winning at the game. More and more independent writers are ending up on the New York Times bestseller list because of their endurance and tenacity. And most for less than a buck! My book sells for $4.99. What a steal? Right? Until you notice most of the books being read and BOUGHT in my genre are selling for less than $2.99. Some for as low as a dollar. Some... FREE!!! So, I build my BRAND the slow way, building relationships with each blog writer, each reader and anybody who will follow me on TWEETER.
Keep writing and keep creating!