Friday, January 20, 2012

Artist's Conundrum

Today, I began the rewrite on ENCOUNTER. I am excited, withdrawn, perplexed and apprehensive... the artist's roller coaster, as I've called it, can be so fickle. I was up at 4:30 AM, drank strong coffee, read the NY Times, then took to the pages. Some days... I am the Viking warrior; confident, stoic, self-congratulatory... a gladiator, and then other days... I am depressed, confused, my work sucks, I can't find the words to describe... why am I a writer anyway? Then, something wonderful happens... an omen, a pleasant word, a  nice review... I sit back, take a breath and continue. It's only a rewrite for God's sake! Not the final edit, which I've now accomplished on my first novel. Still, the CHOICES linger... the career I've used to subsidize me, or, the career I have genuine passion for. Why did it take so long to make these stoic, confident, self-congratulatory choices? Why?  I sit in wonder at the artist's conundrum... I sit in wonder at where it all comes from... where it all came... and how I've become such an amazing transcriber of the WONDER.
Keep writing... keep creating!

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