The WRITER'S WALL

In the frantic pace of building an online brand -- since the surprise launch of A Perfect Husband last Tuesday -- I've been consumed with the daily chores, seriously... chores of keeping up with my Twitter account, my Facebook page and all the other components of 'social media' that make for a world-class, well-traveled current online writer trying to create a career in this new-fangled business called publishing... digitally. Do any of us actually know? Really? We write the best stories we can... we pray to the god's of fiction that the 'people,' the real readers out there, the ones who actually pay cash and download our books will read them and then actually take the time to write a blessed review that is positive... 5 STAR POSITIVE! Enough to encourage other readers to take the plunge and follow suit. I thank the writer's god... (if there is one) that I received one such review today, as well as a wonderful email from my agent in New York regarding a European sub-agent he uses for foreign rights and Hollywood and movies. Oh, it is all so provocative... exciting and exasperating... all at the same time! Anyway, what I really wanted to blog about today was the writer's wall. That dubious space away from all the so-called glamour of reviews, sales and movies and back to the essentials... writing! When I'm actually at my computer in pajamas, up early, smelling rank, two cups of hard, black coffee digesting in my gut and wondering why am I doing this? The writing sucks, the words stink, everything is the pits! I carry an ongoing mental discussion with myself over syntax. Syntax??? I read a multitude of novels, weekly, that read far better, are exquisitely written, the poetry of language perfect, pure music. And then, I spend two days on one chapter of Encounter. An exhausting 10 hours on 13 pages. The rewrite that I so clearly outlined, dedicated, made careless marks on my calendar to schedule two chapters a day to...ONLY! Ahhhhh the trials of the dreaded rewrite. Gone is the chase for a story, the quick daily pace of continuity and action. Now, the whole story's there, looking up at me in numbers highlighted at the bottom of the page... waiting... teasing me to 'make it all better!' I KNOW the damn story... all I'm supposed to do at this point is clean it up. But, I look at the clock, well before 6 AM. I feel  my ass hard against the wood seat, the computer blaring at me post-sunrise waiting for answers... Today, the writer's light stay's off. For some reason, I don't have the energy to deal with my characters. I don't have the compassion, the warmth. I take the day off. I grab a martini at Gulf Stream in Century City and some lunch and read a classic: Susanna Moore's 'In the Cut.' Susanna got it all right! A better day is ahead of me.
Yesterday, the compassion came back... the gratitude of my Life, what I'm allowed to do as a profession, the joy of the written word. A writer's life, the creative pit falls of living it and the roller coaster of the artist's wall! Yes... yes... yes... at least it's honest!
Keep writing... keep creating!